(Leno, Kimmel. Fallon & Ferguson in reruns)
STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION AUGUST 26, 2010
By Strange de Jim
Beep beep! Love from Strange
Strangie to Chelsea Handler: “‘American Idol’? I miss the old days when we picked out singers by who was best at going down on Clive Davis.”
Jon Stewart: “I Have a Scheme:” Glenn Beck is speaking from the Lincoln Memorial on the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech. Jon: “Romance? That mean I gotta do her from the front?”
Stephen Colbert: “Toyota recalls the Matrix. They should have recalled the sequels. They sucked.” “People are upset that Glenn Beck is speaking from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial on the anniversary of MLK’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech. Aug. 28 is also Jason Priestley’s birthday, but you don’t see him getting his panties in a bunch, though I wouldn’t mind.” “You Mosque Be Kidding: A drunk man broke into services in a mosque in Queens, yelled slurs and urinated on prayer rugs. He was arrested for trespissing.” “I imagine the departing troops in Iraq had a bumper sticker: ‘My other war’s in Afghanistan.’”
David Letterman: “Lindsay Lohan was in the jug for about 4 days, and she’s been offered $1 million for an interview. That’ll teach her.” “New York City is running out of burial plots. Let’s use the potholes. The situation’s so bad that some nights we have to put dead people in our audience.” “Burger King is offering something containing 4 Whoppers and a pizza, wrapped in your last will and testament.” “CNN has asked Larry King to stay on. Not long; just a couple of marriages.”
Ace Atlanta reporter Samantha Adams investigates the underage daughters of the upper crust stripping and hooking.
Page 22 – “Sounds like a mine field blowing up is what it sounds like. Ain’t nobody downtown gonna touch it with somebody else’s dick.”
71 – “How is San Francisco these days? Have you been there recently? I have lots of friends, but I’ve been afraid to call.” His voice trailed off.
She knew he meant the Castro, the gay neighborhood.
“Quieter,” she said.
“It’s quieter here, too. Quieter everywhere.”
“Who’s something?” Sam moved over to the woman’s yard.
“Them gays. Well, I tell you, I heard you over there talking with him. When I was a girl it was something folks just whispered about. It was a crime against nature is what it was. Now it’s all out in the open. Well, hell, to each his own, I say.
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