THE SORCERER’S APPRENTICE – A Sweeping Bore

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By Seán Martinfield
Sentinel Editor and Publisher
Photo by Lynn Imanaka

Disney’s latest release, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, is great stuff. That is, if you’re between 9 and 13 and are totally versed in all the other cans of over-produced, other worldly non-stop action noise-packed reels of wizard-centered tales involving big musty books, nerdy boy-men, redundant soundtracks, really bad hair days, the possible annihilation of NYC, arched eyebrows and flashing eyeballs, razor-sharp cutlery and extra-long finger clip-ons, dumbed-down ingenues, and those insatiable bloodthirsty females lurking around since way-way back when.

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NICOLAS CAGE (“Balthazar”) and JAY BARUCHEL (“Dave”)
Photo, Robert Zuckerman

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ALFRED MOLINA – as “Horvath”
Photo, Abbot Genser

Parents, not to worry – The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is just more mindless crap from the Magical Kingdom. It’s all rated PG, and no worse than the spoils on ABC Evening News. In other words, you don’t have to be there with your kids and can enjoy a couple of hours off. This level of highly glossed mythical idiocy, fantastical violence, libidonous energy, voodoo and whodo is so commonplace among America’s children – even they may hardly notice. Except, somehow, all the related products will be high on their Wish List between now and post-Holiday shopping sprees.
Recommended alternative gift starter: CD: French Orchestral Works. Sir Neville Mariner conducts the orchestra of the Academy of St. Martin in the Fields in a fabulous rendition of L’Apprenti Sorcier (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice) by Paul Dukas. Also included: Dance Macabre (Saint-Saëns); Pavane For A Dead Princess (Ravel); March from The Damnation of Faust (Berlioz), and more.

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JERRY BRUCKHEIMER, Producer
Photo, Robert Zuckerman

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NICOLAS CAGE and JAY BARUCHEL
Photo, Robert Zuckerman

“What you just did is impossible!” cries Dave, rubber-faced apprentice to the Sorcerer.

Well, not with a $150 million budget and if you’re producer Jerry Bruckheimer with all those episodes of CSI under your belt; along with the noisy-relaxed/quiet intensity of Nicolas Cage as one of six Executive Producers, and then turning over the direction to Jon Turteltaub with his single TV episode of “Harper’s Island” from last year, a couple from “Jericho” in 2006, etc. The rest is about editor William Goldenberg piecing together the endless special effects from an endless list of contributors that takes about three minutes to list on fast forward.

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TERESA PALMER – as “Becky”
Photo, Robert Zuckerman

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MONICA BELLUCCI – as “Veronica”
Photo, Robert Zuckerman

Some of the time and free-flowing cash should have been spent on sending Teresa Palmer (“Becky”) to Speech and Acting 101 and blue-penciling all of Monica Bellucci’s utterances as “Veronica” – a sloe-eyed vamp trapped in a doll, the “Grimlock”, since the death of Merlin. Add to the heap of deductibles the derivative and predictable score of Trevor Rabin. Even the sure-fire celestial voices were right on cue with the “Dies irae! dies illa”: Day of wrath! O day of mourning! See fulfilled the prophets’ warning…”
Absolutely.

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GREGORY WOO – as “Sun-Lok”
Photo, Robert Zuckerman

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Seán Martinfield
Sentinel Editor and Publisher
Seán Martinfield, who also serves as Fine Arts Critic, is a native San Franciscan. He is a Theatre Arts Graduate from San Francisco State University, a professional singer, and well-known private vocal coach to Bay Area actors and singers of all ages and persuasions. His clients have appeared in Broadway National Tours including Wicked, Aïda, Miss Saigon, Rent, Bye Bye Birdie, in theatres and cabarets throughout the Bay Area, and are regularly featured in major City events including Diva Fest, Gay Pride, and Halloween In The Castro. As an Internet consultant in vocal development and audition preparation he has published thousands of responses to those seeking his advice concerning singing techniques, professional and academic auditions, and careers in the Performing Arts. Mr. Martinfield’s Broadway clients have all profited from his vocal methodology, “The Belter’s Method”, which is being prepared for publication. If you want answers about your vocal technique, post him a question on AllExperts.com. If you would like to build up your vocal performance chops and participate in the Bay Area’s rich theatrical scene, e-mail him at: sean.martinfield@comcast.net.


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