STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION JULY 9 2010

Friday, July 9 Strangie to Jay Leno: “Joe Biden’s a different kind of Vice President. Last time the President would say something and Dick Cheney would have a heart attack …”

STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION JULY 9, 2010

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By Strange de Jim
Beep beep! Love from Strange

Strangie to Jay Leno: “Joe Biden’s a different kind of Vice President. Last time the President would say something and Dick Cheney would have a heart attack …”

Jay Leno: “It’s so hot in Florida, even people in Cleveland could feel the Miami Heat. There hasn’t been this much talk about a guy changing teams since Ricky Martin.” “A Canadian teacher was arrested for assigning her students masturbation as homework. Too bad it’s outlawed. At last there’s a subject where American students could beat Japan and China.”

“Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang” by Chelsea Handler, Grand Central Publishing, 2010
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I get incredibly anxious when challenged to any test of strength and usually end up pulling a groin muscle no matter where the area of strength being challenged is centralized.

It wasn’t Tanya’s strength that I found intimidating. It was the starry, retarded way her eyes focused on me, like Mike Tyson getting ready to feed.

I once saw a special on adopting rescue dogs, and the interview process is more complicated than the one for buying a cleft-palated Vietnamese adolescent.

Eva and Ted were in cahoots, and if you wanted to keep something from one of them, it was best to lie to both.

July Strangies: Ferguson 2, Leno 2, Colbert 1

For each day’s
funniest zingers follow me on Twitter
@strangedejim

See Related: STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION

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