STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION MARCH 15, 2010
16 March 2010
STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION
MARCH 15, 2010
By Strange de Jim
Beep beep! Love from Strange
Monday, March 15 winner: No jokes funny enough to win.
March wins: Fallon 5, Letterman 3, Ferguson 2, Kimmel 1
Stephen Colbert: "Benjamin Franklin invented daylight savings time, probably in a syphilitic haze."
Jay Leno: "It turns out the longer you smoke the less likely you are to develop Parkinson’s. Drinking alcohol is good for your heart. Marijuana cures glaucoma. Screw health care, let’s party!" "The highest tension between the White House and Israel in 30 years. The Israeli’s want to build houses in disputed territory, and the Obama administration wants them to tear them down. The solution? Build the houses, but then let Countrywide give the owners adjustable-rate mortgages. They’ll be foreclosed and out of there by July." "As part of an art project 31 nude male statues will be put up all around Manhattan. They’re so lifelike Rep. Eric Massa tried to tickle them." Guest Terry Bradshaw: "I have a sensitive side, Jay." Jay: "You’re sitting on it." Headlines: "Al Gore says St. Patrick’s Day not green enough." Ad for "Port-a-Potty, sleeps 4." A police report that a woman caught having sex in a bar restroom "threatened to call her attorney and her husband." Ad for "Washing machine, pus agitator."
David Letterman: "Even the Taliban moved their clocks ahead over the weekend, up to the 11th century." "It was so windy in New York over the weekend that a stripper at Flashdancers had to be lashed to her pole." "President Obama says he gets 20,000 letters a day calling him an idiot. Welcome to the club. Maybe I am Presidential material." "One good thing, we’ve never had a sex scandal with Mayor Bloomberg. Somebody would have to put him up to it."
Jimmy Fallon: "The Chicago River has been dyed green for St. Patrick’s Day. New York’s East River remains green." "New York Governor David Paterson has hired a criminal lawyer. He says it’s not because he’s guilty of anything, but just to get advice. That’s like telling your girlfriend you got an STD test because you were bored." "Big storms. Water levels haven’t risen this fast in New Jersey since Sooki got into a hot tub." "In May Germany is opening an 11-mile nude hiking trail, but guys are bragging it’s 13."
|
Multimillionaire Noel Hawthorne left his sisters April, May, and June only a peach, a pear, and an apple, and most of the estate to his mistress. The story is narrated by the studly Archie Goodwin. There was an instant’s silence and then Sara Dunn popped out of her chair and pretended she was a cyclone. [Inspector Cramer to Wolfe] “What the hell did you think, because your clients are people of position and power and influence you could depend on them to pull you out, no matter –” |
See Related: STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION
ABOUT THE SAN FRANCISCO SENTINEL
SENTINEL FOUNDER PAT MURPHY
Telephone: 415-846-2475
Email: SanFranciscoSentinel@yahoo.com
DO NOT FLY SWISS AIR - SENTINEL OPINION
THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AND NEWS MEDIA ARE AFRAID TO CONFRONT ISLAM - SENTINEL OPINION
STRAIGHT PEOPLE NEED FALL SILENT WHEN WE SPEAK - SENTINEL OPINION
Comments are closed.