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STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION - NOVEMBER 17 2009

STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION
NOVEMBER 17 2009

By Strange de Jim
Beep beep! Love from Strange

November wins: Leno 4,

Ferguson 1, Letterman 1

Tuesday, November 17

Winner Jay Leno: "It looks like Dick
Cheney will run for President in 2012, as predicted by the Mayans."

David Letterman: "For good luck Sheikh Mohammed hopes Kate Hudson will attend his trial. You know, I think he looks really familiar. Remember when he was part of this group?"

"In ‘2012′ six billion people are wiped out. In the end it gets really scary. A meteor almost collides with Balloon
Boy."

Jay Leno:"Three men in Russia killed a guy, ate part of his corpse and then sold the rest to a shish-kebab restaurant. Police were grilling them all night." "Carrie Prejean, Miss California, said she sent all those sex tapes to his boyfriend while he was out of town. It just proves, absence does make the hand grow fondlier." "An English woman says she has an orgasm every time she sneezes. What is she taking for it? Pepper."
Herb Caen’s column, San Francisco Chronicle 1/19/95: "Dame Edna Everage on the horn to Strange de Jim: ‘I’ve started having orgasms every time I sneeze.’ Strange: ‘Good Lord, what’re you doing about it?’ Edna: ‘Well, right now I’m lying naked in my freezer snorting pepper.’" Strange: ‘God bless you!’"

Jon Stewart: "Submission Accomplished: Correspondent Aasif Mandvi was complaining about President Obama bowing to the Japanese Emperor: "That was so wimpy, I don’t know if we even get to keep our World War II trophy."

Conan O’Brien: "In her new book Sarah Palin says she doesn’t like vegetarians. She says they should go back to Vegetaria where they came from. She also says that the first time she saw her future husband Todd she said, ‘Thank you, God!’ Oddly, that’s the same thing Democrats said when they first saw Sarah Palin." "There’s a growing market for environmentally friendly sex toys such as hand-cranked vibrators. In a related story, Paris Hilton is being treated for carpal tunnel syndrome." Conan says "Twilight: New Moon" is too sexy. He showed a clip of shirtless guys turning into werewolves, which then started humping.

Jimmy Kimmel: "One of the ‘Dancing with the Stars’ women is in ‘Playboy.’ She says it’s because posing nude is empowering to women. I’m sure a guy came up with that idea." "Sarah Palin won’t say she’s running for President in 2012, but she just got a very generous campaign contribution from President Obama. Her new book is #1. The #2 is a horror story by Stephen King: ‘Sarah Palin Becomes President.’"
"Teenage girls started camping out in front of theaters Wednesday for ‘Twilight: New Moon.’ I’ve never liked anything enough to camp out, not even camping."

Jimmy Fallon: "Sarah Palin was on Oprah, and she said running for President in 2012 is not on her radar, which was very disappointing to Democrats." "’The Oxford Dictionary’ picked ‘unfriend’ as the new word of the year, or as CNN called it, ‘Lou Dobbsing.’
Runner-up words were ‘manscaping’ and ‘lady boner.’" "Sarah Palin’s ‘Going Rogue’ came out today. You’ll find it on bookshelves next to Levi Johnston’s ‘Going Commando.’"

Craig Ferguson: "Robert Pattinson walked out of an interview with Ryan Seacrest when he was asked an inappropriate question, ‘Can I have your phone number?’" "President Obama is in China. We used to be supreme in the world. We were like Alec Baldwin towering over the other Baldwin brothers, but not anymore. If we’re going to battle the Chinese for supremacy we’re going to need a lot more Octomoms." "There’s a big controversy because Obama bowed to the Japanese Emperor, when everyone knows it’s supposed to be fist bump, chest bump."

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