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STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION - OCTOBER 23 2009

STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION
OCTOBER 23 2009

By Strange de Jim
Beep beep! Love from Strange

Friday, October 23 winner: Jimmy Kimmel: “Senator Harry Reid sent up a trial balloon on a public option for health care. Unfortunately the balloon had a kid in it.”

October wins: Leno 6, O’Brien 3, Letterman 3, Fallon 2, Kimmel 2, Ferguson 1

Jay Leno: “A Northwest flight overshot its destination by 150 miles, and there’s speculation the pilots may have been asleep. In their defense, the movie WAS ‘The Time Traveler’s Wife.’ Do the passengers get the extra 300 miles?” “The owners of the Dodgers are divorcing. Neither wants custody.” “Deaths from hospital errors are four times the deaths from car accidents. So if you’re in a car accident, don’t let them take you to the hospital. Also, a woman in the hospital woke to find a male nurse fondling her. And she had a good HMO. If you have a bad HMO, it’s the janitor who fondles you.” “This is what they said. This is what they meant” with Arsenio Hall. “Kanye West said, ‘Beyonce had one of the best records of all time.’ He meant, ‘I need another glass of Hennessy.’” “He says, ‘Say hello to my little friend.’ He means, ‘I’m sorry. This has never happened to me before.’” “A man says, ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder.’ He means, ‘Girl, you still here!?’” “On the Statue of Liberty it says, ‘Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.’ It means, ‘Welcome, Wal-Mart employees.’”
10 @ 10 with Michelle Obama: 6. Jay: “Would your husband rather have world peace or have the White Sox win the World Series?” Michelle: “I’d have to say he’d pick world peace.” Jay: “And that’s more likely to happen too.”

Jimmy Kimmel: “Annie Leibovitz just took the First Family’s portrait. Oprah was looking particularly good.” “And speaking of the Balloon Boy, unlike the Kardashians and the Pratts, at least the Heenes did something to become famous. They sent an imaginary kid up in a balloon.” “Today there was a protest against unsafe sex in porno flicks. It sets a bad example for the kids, I guess.”

Comic Nick Griffin: “What did Brad Pitt do, pull a thorn out of God’s paw?”

Alive in Necropolis by Doug Dorst, Penguin 2008
This is the book the library was suggesting all San Franciscans read. It’s about the 1,200 live people and 2,000,000 ghosts in Colma, the cemetery city just south of us.

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