STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION – JUNE 15 2009

STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION
JUNE 15 2009

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By Strange de Jim
Beep beep! Love from Strange

June 15 winner: David Letterman: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is very happy that he won. He was up all night shooting nuclear missiles into the air. Today the Supreme Leader in Iran certified the results and shipped the crooked voting machines back to Florida.”

June wins: Letterman 5, O’Brien 3, Ferguson 1, Kimmel 1, Fallon 1

David Letterman: “I’m Dave Letterman, good will ambassador. I got a call from Mom today, and she says she’s siding with Governor Palin. Honestly, how many of you are here tonight hoping I’ll offend somebody else?” “Times Square is now a pedestrian mall, with four hundred beach chairs. And if you don’t get a beach chair, I can lend you a bag of my hate mail, and you can lie on that. Columbus Circle is now harness racing, and the median strip on Park Avenue is used for volleyball.” “Trouble with the ballots in the Iranian election. Thousands of Iranians ended up voting for Pat Buchanan. I hope they settle it soon. The last thing we need is unrest in the Middle East.
Top Ten Messages On Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s Answering Machine: “4. It’s Jeb Bush. Those crooked voting machines arrive on time?”

Samantha Bee on “The Daily Show:” “Long Island is only ten miles from New York, or three hours by car.”

Conan O’Brien: “Marvel Comics is bringing back Captain America, as soon as they get a loan from Captain China.” “Heidi Montag says Al Roker asked her a mean question and made her cry. He asked, ‘Are you married to Spencer Pratt?’” “Conan congratulated guest Will Arnett on his trademark deep voice. Will: “Well, I was blessed to start smoking at a young age.”

Jimmy Fallon: “The loser in Iran’s elections wants a fraud investigation, and if that doesn’t work he’ll make a documentary on global warming.” “Friday was World Naked Bike Riding Day, or as it’s known in New York, ‘Ooh,’” “Six Flags is learning that you must be this tall to file for bankruptcy.”

Craig Ferguson: “It’s so cold in Chicago that Dr. Phil’s kissing Oprah’s ass just to keep warm.” “Those two gay German penguins have adopted a baby penguin, which leads to the question, ‘There are German penguins?’” “After the Lakers won fans got so rowdy they tipped over Jack Nicholson.”

Spike Feresten on Fox: “Would you support gay marriage if it were limited to hot lesbians?”

See Related: STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION

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THE TRIBE PRODUCED BY TIFFANY SHLAIN

THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AND NEWS MEDIA ARE AFRAID TO CONFRONT ISLAM – SAN FRANCISCO SENTINEL OPINION

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