STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION – MAY 27 2009

STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION
MAY 27 2009

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By Strange de Jim
Beep beep! Love from Strange

May 27 winner: Jay Leno guest Dame Edna: “I stay with the Queen when I’m in London. She has a wonderful sense of humor. It doesn’t come across on the coins.”

May wins: Leno 7, Letterman 4, Ferguson 4, Colbert 2, Kimmel 1, Stewart 1

Chelsea Handler reported on a woman who had twins fathered by two different men. Panelist Jean Kirkman: “Two different child supports? That’s awesome.”

Jay Leno: “President Obama had only an hour’s warning of North Korea’s nuclear test, but then he has no warning at all when Joe Biden goes off.” “You know that ‘Viva Viagra’ commercial? Is that wise, forming a conga line with guys on Viagra?” Gilbert Gottfried dressed as Yoda: “Yoda getting no Wookie. Every night is Han Solo.” Guest Wanda Sykes, whose wife just gave birth to their twins: “There’s no such thing as a smooth birth. There’s always lots of mopping.” Jay: “I enjoy being there for the conception.” Wanda: “I wasn’t there for that.” “Alex is breast feeding. She handles everything that goes in, and I handle everything that comes out.” “But we’re getting no sleep. I tell my wife, ‘You catch me in bed with another woman, I’m just taking a nap.’” Guest Dame Edna: “At this stage in your series it doesn’t matter what we talk about tonight.” On the economy: “I’ve cut back on my charitable contributions, and now I have more money to spend on myself.” About the scandal of Michelle Obama touching the Queen: “If you look at the footage you’ll see the Queen’s fingers creeping across Michelle’s back.” To Wanda, “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” “We found an old book when we were burning my mother’s things …” “Your wife Mavis and I have sold all your cars, Jay.”

Jimmy Fallon: “Chrysler is headed to bankruptcy court today, in a Mitsubishi.” “Almost 9 million people watched ‘Kate & Jon + 8.’ Soon it’ll be ‘Kate + 8 minus Jon.’” “A man slashed the tires on 48 cars because he was frustrated with his mother. You can do that, or you can just hang up on her.”

See Related: STRANGE de JIM’S ZINGERS COLLECTION

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THE TRIBE PRODUCED BY TIFFANY SHLAIN

THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AND NEWS MEDIA ARE AFRAID TO CONFRONT ISLAM – SAN FRANCISCO SENTINEL OPINION

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