SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS - ALL DOPES, NO HOPES FOR FAILING FRANCHISE
5 October 2008
Yed York
BY PAT MURPHY
Sentinel Editor & Publisher
Copyright © 2008
After failing miserably again on Sunday to the New England Pats, the San Francisco 49ers continue their downward spiral under the leadership of Jed York and his father John. When the team retired Steve Young’s jersey, it would have been a great time to retire the York family from the ownership of any professional sports franchise on the planet Earth.
It was reported that Eddie DeBartolo couldn’t attend the retirement of Young’s number from the Niners’ lineup because of medical reasons. We hope that Eddie D. is ok, but we strongly suspect that the medical reason was that he would vomit at the thought of being in the same arena with his unctuous brother in law, John York. Too bad that Jed York possesses none of the hot-blooded desire to win or spend money-to-do-so that Eddie did when he owned the team.
So, 49ers fans, we stand here today and this much we know:
– Jed and his Papa John York (he’ll only spend money on things that cost less than a Papa John Pizza) have driven the team as close to Hell as anyone could imagine (with the possible exception of Al Davis, whose sole role in the NFL is to make John and Jed York look like geniuses).
– The coaching staff is headed by Mike Nolan whose role in life is to mimic a coach, but even Marcel Marceau couldn’t pull this impression off.
– Mike Martz–the coach in waiting–who was fired twice in two calendar years by St. Louis and Detroit and is the only possible 49ers savior, unless, of course, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell took mercy on 49er fans and placed the team in receivership and turned it over to a real owner who wants to win.
– The 49ers have ‘papered the house’ and bought as many tickets as necessary to keep the stadium ‘filled with fans’ so that games will continue to be televised because no one in their right mind actually wants to see the team play live (rumor has it that the York family has spent $15 million to purchase un-bought tickets this season).
– The Front Office, comprised of bozos Jed, John, Lisa Lang, Paraag Marathe, Lal Heneghan, and bean counter Larry McNeil, have run this team into the ground permanently.
If Jed York is really the team’s director of strategic planning, here are two questions for him:
1. What is he going to do now?, and,
2. Why can’t a billionaire afford a haircut and a facial?
If there is a God, please save this team. Amen.
PAT MURPHY
Sentinel Editor & Publisher
In his youth, Pat Murphy worked as a General Assignment reporter for the Richmond Independent, the Berkeley Daily Gazette, and the San Francisco Chronicle. He served as Managing Editor of the St. Albans (Vermont) Daily Messenger at age 21. Murphy also launched ValPak couponing in San Francisco, as the company’s first San Francisco franchise owner. He walked the bricks, developing ad strategy for a broad range of restaurants and merchants. Pat knows what works and what doesn’t work. His writing skill has been employed by marketing agencies, including Don Solem & Associates. He has covered San Francisco governance for the past twelve years. Pat scribes an offbeat opinion column of the human family. Email Pat Murphy at SanFranciscoSentinel@yahoo.com.
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