STRANGE’S LAST NIGHT’S TOP TEN LATE-NIGHT TV JOKES September 16 2011
September Strangies: Leno 3, Fallon 2, Kimmel 2, Ferguson 2, Letterman 1, Colbert 1, O’Brien 1
By Strange de Jim
Beep beep! Love from Strange
Friday, September 16
(Only Leno, Fallon & Ferguson live.)
10. Jay Leno: Last night Rick Perry had dinner with Donald Trump. The guy who talks to God ate with the guy who thinks he IS God.
9. Jimmy Fallon: Nurses in Great Britain are being banned from wearing Crocs, because sharp objects could fall through the holes. As opposed to the other big risk, people seeing you in Crocs.
8. Jimmy Fallon Thank You Notes: Thank you, well-behaved wolves. What were you? Raised by humans?
7. Craig Ferguson: In Germany, today is the first day of Oktoberfest. Nothing says problem drinking like starting Oktoberfest in the middle of September.
6. Craig Ferguson: In Munich they only serve beer brewed inside the city. That’s German, isn’t it? Having a purity test for beer.
5. Craig Ferguson: Oktoberfest beer has twice the alcohol content of ours. Germans are fascinated by anything with a high alcohol conternt. That’s why they like David Hasselhoff.
4. Jimmy Fallon: Scientists in Japan have entered a robot in an Iron Man contest. Big deal, the other night I watched 8 robots compete for President.
3. Jay Leno: A new book says Sarah Palin had a one-night stand with future NBA star Glen Rice when he was playing for Michigan. So not only can she skin a moose, she can also bone a Wolverine. Glen’s not denying it. Today he came out with a book “Rice-a-Roni, the Sarah Palin Treat.”
2. Jay Leno: The economy’s so bad, today Ron Paul said, “Let it die!”
1. Jay Leno: The waiting list for cremations in Japan is so long that dead bodies have to be booked into hotels at $154 a night until they can be cremated. How busy are THOSE ice machines?
The Bohemian Girl by Kenneth Cameron
Denton is a famous American author and expatriate in turn-of-the-century London with a reputation for involving himself in murder cases.
Page 30 – He decided to take his ghosts to some place that served alcohol.
79 – “He didn’t give you a name.”
“Oh, he did, like he expected me to shine it up and put it on the mantel for a keepsake. ‘Alf’. If he’d had more front teeth and a clean shirt he’d have been about half the man I’d care to spend five minutes with.”
80 – “She’d be better off back at the farm.”
“Oh, aye, except for the starvation.”
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