STRANGE’S LAST NIGHT’S TOP TEN LATE-NIGHT TV JOKES September 2 2011
September Strangies: Leno 1, Fallon 1
By Strange de Jim
Beep beep! Love from Strange
Friday, September 2
(Only Leno, Fallon & Ferguson live.)
10. Jimmy Fallon: A man in Arkansas spotted his house being robbed from an airplane. The police released this sketch of the suspect. [It was just a dot.]
9. Jimmy Fallon guest Jon Rineman: I buy condoms like I buy milk. “Expiration date Dec. 2014? That’s cutting it a little close.”
8. Jay Leno: A New Mexico state trooper in full uniform was caught having sex with a woman on the hood of her car. She was so drunk that halfway through she said, “Hey, that’s not a Breathalyzer!”
7. Jimmy Fallon: A company in Wisconsin is selling a Kim Kardashian costume for Halloween. with a wig, eyelashes and a foam butt. Professional athlete sold separately.
6. Craig Ferguson: “Shark Night” is in 3-D. I wanted to do this show in 3-D, but CBS said I’d have to keep my pants on, so what’s the point? The poster for the movie looks like the “Jaws” poster. Every time Hollywood does a movie with a creature with big teeth, they do the “Jaws” poster. [Showed a Julia Roberts poster.]
5. Jay Leno: Tonight’s guest are Dick Cheney and Carrot Top. This is what happens when you let match.com pick the guests.
4. Jimmy Fallon Thank You: Thank you, taboo, for being something people don’t talk about. And thank you, Taboo from the Black-Eyed Peas, for embodying that definition perfectly.
3. Jay Leno: Frank McCourt has been offered $1.2 billion to sell the L.A. Dodgers. Apparently they’re bringing back that Cash for Clunkers program. Part of the offer is from Chinese investors. Every Wednesday night could be Pirated DVD Night.
2. Jimmy Fallon: Police in Ohio are trying to figure out who left 3,000 pairs of underwear on the side of the road. There must have been an accident, because there were skid marks everywhere.
1. Jimmy Fallon Thank You: Thank you, high school reunions, or as I like to call you, Facebook Live.
The Autobiography of Mark Twain, 2010
Page 420 – The name of the boys was Levin. We had a collective name for them which was the only really large and handsome witticism that was ever born in that Congressional district. We called them “Twenty-two” — and even when the joke was old and had been worn threadbare we always followed with the explanation to make sure that it would be understood, “Twice Levin — twenty-two.”
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