STRANGE’S LAST NIGHT’S TOP TEN LATE-NIGHT TV JOKES FEBRUARY 11 2011
February Strangies: Fallon 3, Leno 2, Kimmel 1, Letterman 1, O’Brien 1, Ferguson 1
By Strange de Jim
Beep beep! Love from Strange
Friday, February 11
10. Craig Ferguson: You know who the Justin Bieber movie hurts the most, though, the Jonas Brothers. Completely forgotten. “We wore purity rings and remained virgins for nothing!” That’s right, Jonas Brothers, those purity rings turned out to be obscurity rings.
9. Jay Leno: Paris Hilton is freaking out about turning 30. In fact, she called a friend to wail, “What comes after 30?”
8. David Letterman: Top 10 restaurants that still have reservations for Valentine’s Day:
7. Jay Leno: “The King’s Speech” is the top contender for the Best Picture Oscar. It’s so successful they’re already working on the sequel, where Geoffrey Rush teaches Christina Aguilera to sing the National Anthem.
6. Jimmy Fallon: I don’t know what to think. On the one hand, some people say Egypt will never become a democracy. On the other hand, Justin Bieber says never say never.
5. Jay Leno: What got Egyptian President Mubarak really mad was that he was forced to resign while the coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers still has a job.
4. David Letterman: Now the Westminster Dog Show is in town. Between that and Fashion Week we’ve got bitches coming and going.
3. Jay Leno: Lindsay Lohan could get 3 years in prison, so her attorney is trying to work out a plea bargain where instead of jail she could just go straight to DVD.
2. Jimmy Fallon: The Grammys are Sunday night. I’m calling it for Best Original Lyrics: Christina Aguilera.
1. Craig Ferguson: Justin Bieber is Canadian. And so is Celine Dion. And so is William Shatner. Which is causing me to wonder, are we guarding the wrong border? Maybe we need two fences.
Sherlock Holmes: The Hidden Years, Edited by Michael Kurland, St. Martin’s Minotaur 2004
Short stories by various authors telling the adventures of Sherlock Holmes between his supposed death at Reichenbeck Falls and his reappearance a few years later. The story set in San Francisco, “The Bughouse Caper,” is especially good
184 – Smartly dressed young women paraded along Market Street during the evening hours, not a few of them wearing violets pinned to their jackets and bright-colored feather boas around their necks that announced them to those in the know as sporting ladies. Men of all ages lounged in front of cigar stores and saloons, engaged in a pastime known as “stacking the mash”: ogling and flirting with parading ladies of both easy and well-guarded virtue.
Parlor houses also flourished there, so openly that the reform element had begun to mount a serious cleanup campaign. The most notorious was the one operated by Miss Bessie Hall, the “Queen of O”Farrell Street,” all of whose girls were said to be blond and possessed of rare talents in the practice of their trade. Lettie Carew and her Fiddle Dee Dee were among the second rank of Bessie’s rivals, specializing in ladies of other cultures and different hues …
Above him, as he strolled along the wooden sidewalk, sundry flounced undergarments clung to telephone wires, another form of advertisement tossed out by the inhabitants of the shuttered houses along the route. This, too, had scandalized and provoked the reformers.
185 – [In a parlor house] There was also a handful of framed mottoes, one of which read: “If every man was as true to his country as he is to his wife — God help the U.S.A.”
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